Row Hard at RHN Row Hard
Astro win the Row Hard fundraising challenge
The long awaited day had arrived. Our keen team of amateur but dedicated rowers were fired up to demonstrate their rowing machine prowess and take on some of London’s finest in the Royal Hospital for Neuro-disability Row Hard event in London’s stunning City Hall. Our team had been training for hours for the event and at least two of our team had rehearsed self-administered CPR should the need arise. In fact I would go as far to say at least one of our team was already permanently wired to CPR and brought back memories of that old British classic comedy film Carry On Screaming.
When we arrived at City Hall we had to ditch the remedies so doping the competition was now out of the question. We took the lift up to the top floor if the very impressive building that is City Hall. I wondered if we would see Mayor Boris Johnson. I think I caught a glimpse of him from behind on the balcony but I’ll let you decide when you check out the photo below.
“…Mayor Boris? …you decide”
Looking around us there appeared to be some very impressive looking rowers, some in equally impressive fancy dress. Our team were extremely civilised in their Astro polo shorts and straw boaters but as I looked around I spotted Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Kiss, the entire cast of Father Ted, a witch, pirates and some really scary looking characters in straw boaters… whoops sorry team. On the subject of boaters on hearing that he was ‘obliged’ to wear a boater, one of the younger members of our crew rebelled and informed his team mates that he would be the loan radical in the team and would wear his boater back to front (true story). Someone pointed out that straw boaters are round and no one would know of his radical intention. Kids of today! I blame the parents.
The time had come for the demonstration. The four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles took to their rowing machine and demonstrated the technique. “Technique?” Our four man crew said almost in unison. As you can imagine, this came as a bit of a shock. The Turtles demonstrated the rather complex technique where one team member would hold the front of the machine and shout encouragement. The second and third team members would lay either side of the machine holding the fourth team member’s feet steady on the foot rests while he or she rowed until they dropped. When the first rower completed 500m the team would rotate positions. Our technique (OK not exactly a technique) was to row to 500m and pass out. Who would be conscious to hold the machine steady and hold the rowers feet? That is exactly where we failed.
“…we appeared to up against several teams made up of the Oxford and Cambridge boat race crews”
After the demonstration the event started, we were allocated rowing machine four and in our heat we appeared to up against several teams made up of the Oxford and Cambridge boat race crews minus the cox. Our brave team: Steve (Popeye) Hodges, Andrew (Bluebeard) Tomkinson, James (Pugwash) Tuck, Joe (Birdseye) Wing gave it their absolute all and rowed their little hearts out. The team retired with their towels between their legs – well it was a very hot evening. They were exhausted and didn’t have another metre in them. And then someone pointed out that if we were in the top four we would have to row again. One of our crew on hearing that news thought about it for a few milliseconds and then said. “No”. Or words to that effect.
Our team spent the next twenty minutes praying that they were not included in the final. Although we already knew this was unlikely given that we came third in our heat – albeit against Oxford and Cambridge. We need not have worried because we ended up in 8th place which given our lack of training, lack of technique and lack of fancy dress this was by no means a shabby performance. I must say that during these proceedings I was preparing for my speech by standing at the back holding a beer in a ‘here is what you could’ve won’ demonstration to my colleagues on the rowing machine. I think they appreciated it.
On a more serious note for a couple of minutes, my daughter has been in the rehabilitation unit at the Royal Hospital for Neuro-disability for some months and will be until July. The event was to raise money for the vitally important wheelchair pool. Each of these wheelchairs has to be custom modified to meet each patient’s needs by the hospital’s biomedical engineers. This is real ‘old school engineering’ and her custom modified wheelchair was one of the first steps to restoring some quality to my daughter’s life. I was asked to deliver a short speech on my personal experience as an end user of the wheelchairs and exceptional work of the Biomedical Engineers. I am extremely grateful for the sponsors, all of the teams that took part, and the staff of the RHN for their efforts to raise these much needed funds.
“Although we were placed 8th we raised over £2,000 for the charity and won first prize for the highest fundraiser on the night…”
Although we were placed 8th we raised over £2,000 for the charity and won first prize for the highest fundraiser on the night – and won a meal for the team at The Dickens Inn. If you would like to add to our total the link is still open until 17th September 2015.
http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/team/teamastro
Congratulations to the winning rowing team – Loans2Go Team 1, that was an extremely tough gig (as far as I could tell through the green haze of a beer bottle) so very well deserved. A massive thank you to the event sponsors Minster Law and to The RHN Fundraising Team for their fantastic organisation, a truly amazing event. A great fun evening enjoyed by all. We will definitely be back next year – fully prepared to bust our 2015 rowing time and fundraising!