IT Directors Forum 2017: The Boat That Rocked will be Docked Part 1
All aboard the IT Directors Forum: The End of an Era
Sunset over the Aurora
I know I must have said this before but I just don’t know where the time goes between one IT Directors Forum and the next. When I step on the ship I am back in the zone and ready to make the most what must be the greatest event in the industry. Unfortunately, my 15th IT Directors Forum on board one of P&O’s fabulous ships, was my last. As of next year, the IT Directors Forum is changing format and moving onto the land and I will not be there. So, this year as I was heading down the M3 to Southampton I had one thing on my mind, as I have on all previous IT Directors Forums, to make the most of it. Having attended the Spring IT Directors Forum for 15 consecutive years, plus two Autumn events I am really going to miss it. My wife recently referred to the event as my holiday with Mr Hodges. Perhaps she was right. It has always been very hard work, but equally very enjoyable and we have met some amazing people over the years.
It has been our tradition for some years to start our IT Directors Forum as we mean to go on. We arranged to meet a number of our customers and friends at the Vestry in Southampton for a pre-ITDF lunch. There were 11 of us in total and we met up from around noon to get into the swing of the event. It was a lovely day and we remained outside making the most of the sunshine with some ice cold beers and some great conversation. It was soon time to leave for the Mayflower Terminal.
“The burning question was, did we have time for another beer before the emergency drill?”
We were soon checked in and up on deck 12 to find we very soon had a new social gathering in the open air bar at the rear of the ship. We were already making the most of our time on board as we welcomed old friends from previous events. As we have been on the Aurora many times over the years, we were calculating the time it would take to get back to our cabin to grab our lifejackets and make it to our muster point. The burning question was, did we have time for another beer before the emergency drill?
After the emergency drill, we headed back to the cabin for a lightning pit stop McLaren would be proud of to give us time to head out to the key note speech ‘Views and insights into the UK political landscape’ by Michael Crick the Political Broadcaster and Journalist from Channel 4 News. However, there was one slight problem. He wasn’t on the ship! Fortunately, we were not deprived of a great keynote speech because Jim Lawless, founder of Taming Tigers stepped in and delivered an excellent keynote entitled ‘ Taming tigers: Accomplishing Mission Impossible. It is the first time in ITDF history or in fact since I was in primary school, to crouch down and pretend I was a jockey on a horse trying to win a race. Fortunately, I was sat far enough away from Mr Hodges that he was unable to gather any photographic evidence of this phenomenon.
Jim was an excellent speaker and shared his amazing stories as to how he used the principals of Taming Tigers to overcome some extreme physical and mental challenges, including: becoming Britain’s deepest free diver by breaking the 100m barrier on one breath of air, and to become a jockey within 12 months. At the start of the latter challenge, he was 20kg too heavy and he couldn’t ride a horse! And, that is how I came to be riding my horse in the Curzon Theatre on board Aurora Your Honour. Soon after the keynote we were heading into the speed meetings and ITDF was under way.
Jim Lawless jockeying for first position but he seems to have lost his steed?
“…Mr Hodges new found friend got up and made his way to the stage and submitted his ticket for ‘A Bat Out of Hell’.”
After dinner Astro Customers and Friends Reunion continued in Champions Bar and it was growing at a healthy rate. I got talking to another supplier who was at the event for the first time. He was asking how we measure our return on investment for ITDF. I said. “We don’t.” I said that we treat the IT Directors Forum as a club and we get to meet people we wouldn’t otherwise meet. Over time, some of these people become friends and sometimes this develops into a business relationship. The delegates we have met on previous occasions refer to us as friends, which is a great compliment and we really appreciate it. It is such as shame that our club is moving to new land based premises and will be a different format but, that is life and we must all move on at some time or another.
This year the organisers had arranged for Karaoke on all three nights and they had extended it to 1am as a result of the ‘feedback’ they received from me (allegedly). As the Karaoke kicked off Mr Hodges shared his views on the combination of IT and Karaoke with his new found friends at the Black Jack table (including his new best friend the croupier). “The trouble is when you combine IT people with Karaoke there is always someone who thinks he is Meatloaf.” “I can do Meatloaf.” Came a reply from the other side of the table and with that Mr Hodges new found friend got up and made his way to the stage and submitted his ticket for ‘A Bat Out of Hell’. Mr Hodges called out after him, “NO, that wasn’t a request! It was a statement. Oh no!” Priceless!
The ship was already well under way to Guernsey and was rocking slightly. It reminded me of a City IT in early November over 10 years ago when we set sail in gale force winds. The event ran from Thursday to Sunday and it was a bumpy drive down to Southampton with tree branches and other debris blowing across the M3. The gusts were persistently trying to blow the car off the road. I arrived safely and got through checkin and headed to the Crow’s Nest bar to collect my itinerary in the eerie calm before the storm. I was on my own but soon made some friends and arranged to meet after dinner.
“As the floor tipped towards me, my new delegate friend became a little friendlier than I was expecting as he lunged into me in what can only be described as an embrace.”
Following the emergency drill and keynote speech I was straight into the speed meetings. With itinerary in one hand and champagne in the other I was standing by my flag on the Lido Deck (12th floor) as the ship set sail. As my first delegate arrived the ship was rolling side to side through a 20 degree arc. As the floor tipped towards me, my new delegate friend became a little friendlier than I was expecting as he lunged into me in what can only be described as an embrace. “Excuse me, Sir, but we’ve only just met.” I joked. However, I was soon to get my own back as the ship immediately rolled the other way and I returned the compliment. After a few more rolls I got the rhythm and everything was fine.
After the speed meetings and dinner I went to the Crow’s Nest bar and I thought it was a spectacular view from the 13th floor as the ship sailed through the storm. The sea was looking fairly angry and swell was building as we sailed into the dark night. I was persuaded to move onto the night club at around 2am and stayed there for an hour. You would have been forgiven for thinking I was dancing, but I was just maintaining my balance and this happens to involved me moving rhythmically (to the sea rather than the music) across the dance floor as the ship continued to roll. I called it a night at 3.30am and retired to my cabin.
“If you get your timing wrong to get your leg in your trousers you have a choice of falling over or hopping across the cabin until you hit something.”
BANG! It was 4am exactly. It felt as if the bed had dropped about a metre and I followed shortly after only to meet it coming back up towards me. All my clothes had leapt from their hangers and were on the wardrobe floor. I could see that because the wardrobe doors were flung open. I assumed I must have been dreaming so went back to sleep as the ship settled back into it’s roll. My alarm went off at 7am and as my eyes opened I could see my clothes were still on the floor so I wasn’t dreaming! After having what I can only describe as a ‘challenging’ shower as I crashed into the wall and then had to hang on for dear life to stop me falling through the curtain into the wash basin. I had even more fun and games trying to get dressed. If you get your timing wrong to get your leg in your trousers you have a choice of falling over or hopping across the cabin until you hit something. My cabin was on the 10th floor so the arc I was travelling through wasn’t much less than the Lido Deck.
I learned later that day that a big wave had washed over the coast in Southern England. I guess we were just a small cork bobbing in the sea so the wave tossed us up in the air and dropped us ungraciously on our underside as it passed by. It was a classic experiment to prove Newton’s laws of gravity. If anyone up there is listening, I believe you!
My cabin was at the front of the ship, breakfast was at the rear of the ship. Usually this is a gentle stroll along the eternal corridor. On this occasion I made my way bouncing from one wall to another from end of the ship to the other. I got into the lift as the ship continued to play tennis with me playing the part of the ball. What suddenly dawned on me was that there was hardly anyone about. Usually there is a throng of people rushing to breakfast at 7.45. As I walked into the restaurant, other than a handful of suppliers and delegates all I could see were waiters. I guessed there should have been around 400 people in the restaurant. As I sat down the very attentive waiters rushed over and asked if I wanted ginger ice cream. At the time I had no idea that it was good for countering the effects of sea sickness. “No thank you.” I replied. “But, I would love a full English please?”
Panoramic View from the rear of Deck 12 on Aurora
Continued in part 2…