IT Directors Forum Spring 2016 – Part 1

The IT Directors Forum – we accept full responsibility for our actions

Before I start I must just open with a Dragnet type statement. ‘All of the following incidents are true but the names have been omitted to spare the blushes of the individuals concerned’. However, this statement does not include Mr Hodges and me, we accept full responsibility for our actions. We have a lot of friends on board – old and new. Not only the organisers and delegates but suppliers too, including some friends we met from the other forums. On a serious note, everyone works incredibly hard at the IT Directors Forum and everyone I met is a consummate ambassador for the organisations they represent.

“He who dares wins Rodney. He who dares wins!”

Mr Hodges often says that the IT Directors Forum is actually our event but we allow Richmond Events to put their name to it and let some other suppliers come on board. This may be something said in jest but when you think about it he has a point. Richmond Events do a fantastic job of providing all of the people and facilities for each supplier to make ITDF their own event. As a supplier, we just want the opportunity to meet people who may, at some stage in the future (whether that is 10 months or 10 years) be interested in talking to us when they have a need.

In respect to us making it our own event, all we are really doing is taking responsibility for making the event a success for us. As long as Richmond Events attract a sufficient number of delegates at the appropriate level, we can party. We received a very nice comment from one of the delegates we met officially at one of our speed meetings and then caught up with him again on Thursday. “It was great to meet you and Steve on the Arcadia. Top night on Thursday – I’ve named you guys the SAS (Steve And Steve) for the carnage you caused! Safe journey home, looking forward to our paths crossing again”. I am sure we did not at any point in our engagement deliver a sales pitch. A quote springs to mind that relates to the SAS and my origins in Peckham – “He who dares wins Rodney. He who dares wins!”

”…is this the most unusual way of representing the size of women’s breasts?”

I don’t always attend the opening keynote speeches. I would say on average I have made it to about half in the past 14 years. The presenters I have seen have generally been very good and there have been two that have been exceptional. I remember my first was delivered by a team from the US Navy ‘Top Gun’ School made famous by the film of the same name. I was a little disillusioned when I heard the presenter mention his nickname – ‘Spud’. Could you imagine Tom Cruise being referred to as ‘Spud’ rather than Maverick? To use our Head of Network Services favourite word… No!

Colonel Tim Collins, the former commanding officer of the SAS was excellent when he delivered his talk on ‘respect’. It was an amazing get that Colonel Collins achieved all of his Iraq objectives without firing a single shot and with no casualties. I distinctly remember Rory Cellan-Jones (Mr Cellan-Jones was sharing the stage with Colonel Collins at the time) froze with fear when his mobile rang in the middle of Colonel Collins speech. You could have heard a stun grenade pin drop.

Lady Michelle Mone of Mayfair delivered an inspirational account of her rise to the top from her parents tenament block in the East End of Glasgow. Michelle was forced to leave school and go out to work due to family illness. Despite having many people tell her she should not go into business, in 1996 she founded Ultimo which was to become the UK’s leading designer lingerie brand. Lady Mone achieved over £1B worth of publicity over the years. Michelle’s passion is to inspire others and she is actively involved in mentoring hundreds of young entrepreneurs.

”Our unperturbed friend was dancing around the floor dodging the cleaners with the vacuum cleaners.”

I thought Lady Mone’s presentation was excellent. She had been involved in some high profile controversy leading up to the forum and tackled that head on with the audience. She is a very engaging speaker with a relaxed style. She was also very funny, especially when it came to audience participation. When trying to describe the predominantly male audience what a ‘G cup’ was she called upon a follically challenged man in the front row and asked him (politely) to stand. Lady Mone then told the audience that the size of her ‘victim’s’ head was about the size of a G-cup! Possibly the most unusual way of representing the size of women’s breasts.

The IT Directors Forum always requires a significant amount of stamina. For suppliers it is a relatively big investment but once on board, the drinks are relatively cheap, and there are no other costs. So, entertainment costs are lower than for a similar event in a hotel. The IT Directors Forum is all about developing relationships. Relationships take time, and time on board is very limited so we just make the most of it. Building relationships aside, it is such a fantastic experience it is a shame not to make the most of the time on board.

By Thursday night we were really getting into the swing. After dinner we headed off to the Karaoke bar in The Rising Sun for a couple of hours and then had some time in the casino. At around 2.30am we heard last orders called and decided to move on to The Globe night club where the bar was still open. I don’t remember too much other than seeing one of our long term delegate friends hitting the dance floor at around 5am. That would not normally grab my attention but when you take into consideration the bar closed at 4am and the music stopped around the same time you will see where I am coming from. Our unperturbed friend was dancing around the floor dodging the cleaners with the vacuum cleaners.

”It was an amazing place to be walking around the several open decks of the Arcadia and witnessed the sunset coming up over the Channel Islands.”

My partner in crime Mr Hodges had been in full flow entertaining our guests for around 7.45am Thursday to 5.15am Friday. So, it was not surprise that he needed a little help finding his way back to our cabin. I took my role as guide seriously but I have to say I almost lost him when he tried to get out of the lift a few floors short of our destination. More by luck than anything else I managed to guide Mr Hodges back to our cabin and his bed, although I stopped short of tucking him in.

The stress of delivering our wayward Mr Hodges back to his bed for a well deserved one and half hours sleep before the start of our next day had left me wide awake and in need of my breakfast. Unfortunately, by now (5.37am) breakfast was one hour and eight minutes away. So I did what anyone else would do in the same circumstances, go for a walk. I have to say at this point my arithmetic was flawed as I thought I would go for a walk for an hour, grab some sleep and then shower and head to breakfast. Epic fail!

For Part 2, stay tuned tomorrow!